Mama Saga: One Mother's Journey

Monday, April 21, 2008

Win a Copy of Deceptively Delicious!

I have an extra (brand new) copy of Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food.

This book has generated some controversy--so read it and decide for yourself!

Fans claim that this is the way to get picky eaters to enjoy nutritious foods. Detractors are concerned about everything from the idea of tricking your kids to the time-intensive puree preparation.

Mixing veggies and fruits in with other foods is nothing new--my grandmother used to mash spinach into my mom's potatoes. And, although I'm blessed with a little one who is the opposite of picky, I'll sometimes put some veggies into her mac and cheese just to add additional vitamins. And you don't have to actually be deceptive about it if you aren't comfortable with the idea--the recipes still give you ideas about possible combinations to try.

If you are interested in winning a copy from me:

Just leave me a comment with your kiddo's favorite food (or if you don't have a kid yet, let me know yours) by 11:59 PM, Friday April 25th.
I'm on Blogger, so you'll need to leave me a valid URL or e-mail where I can reach you. I'll ship to any US, Canadian, or US Military address. If you don't want to do that, use a nickname and then shoot me an e-mail at mamaluxe at gmail dot com to tell me what nickname you used.

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If you'd like to get to know more about me and my family, why thank you! Here's some posts that may interest you...please come comment and make my day:

You Gotta Have Heart: After a long, stressful hospital labor with #1, help me think about homebirthing vs. a hospital birth with an apparently heart healthy #2
Attachment Parenting Principle #1: I'd love to chat about AP with you...drop by, read mythoughts, leave me a comment, share your own posts.
Toddler Empathy: Meet my cutie.

If you'd like to enter more contests, check out The Bloggy Giveaways Carnival, this contest post is part of that carnival! Also, we have lots of contests on Mamanista, my baby gear review blog.

Alter-Eco Fair Trade Foods (ends April 21)
SIGG Eco-Chic Water Bottle (ends April 22)
$50 GC to Warm Biscuit, an awesome retro/vintage children's decor shop (ends April 25)
Nursing Cover for the New Mamas from Love & Blessings (ends April 30)
Mother’s Day Gift Guide SIGG contest for bloggers (ends May 2)

Y'all Come Back Now, Y'hear!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Week 20: You Gotta Have Heart

Skipping way ahead to current day. I'm in week 20 and I just had the fetal echo cardiogram. Because my daughter was born with Tetralogy of Fallot, they wanted to check out Junior (oh, yeah, BTW--IT'S A BOY!).

All looks well and I've been cleared to proceed as "normal."

Which begs the question for me, what is normal? I had a midwife last time in Texas, and I've found a good midwife practice here in New York. However, I didn't have the most pleasant labor experience last time around. How much of that was exacerbated or alleviated by being in a hospital, it is hard to say.

Part of me is really starting to feel like hospitals are great--for sick people. But a normal pregnant woman with a normal baby isn't sick. And it isn't just the horror stories of healthy pregnant women catching rare awful things from other patients...I'm also just really thinking about why hospitals are necessary for birth.

I'm a fan of Hathor and Crunchy Domestic Goddess, and I've been listening and reflecting on what they have to say about home births and the importance of feeling comfortable in your birthing place.

The benefits (in my mind) of a home birth is that it feels more natural and normal to me and I'll have privacy and can birth the way I wish. The barriers to a home birth include the limited number of nurse-midwives in my area who will attend, the comfort level of other essential participants, and inertia. After all, the path of least resistance is to just go to the hospital. Which is strange, isn't it? You would think that the easiest thing to do would be to just stay put, but somehow decades of pop culture have made it seem far more normal to rush into a speeding car, climb into a wheel chair, and be propped up in an unfamiliar bed.

My husband missed the birth last time (he was in Iraq), and he is looking forward to it. But I think he would feel more confident having his first time (and yes, his opinion does count here) in a hospital. I can't forget that although I have a previous experience, this is all fairly new to him.

So, if anyone is actually out there reading...I'd love to hear your experiences with home birth. And I would REALLY love some words of wisdom from your partners. How did they feel about the home birth, before, during and after? Did they need convincing? What made them go for it? How was it? Would they want to do it again?

Monday, March 31, 2008

Attachment Parenting International (API) Announces Their New Website

I'm pretty excited about this announcement. I chose to follow the philosophy of attachment parenting before I even knew what it was or met my child. Promoting healthy attachment with your child seems to be the most normal way to parent. Once my child was born and her heart defect discovered, I honestly believe that this approach helped me keep my sanity (or what I had of it to begin with) and save her life. I'm hoping that the new API website, forums, and classes, will help all parents find their own best way of raising their children and clear up some of the misconceptions about Attachment Parenting**.

If you are interested in talking more about Attachment Parenting with me. I have started posting each of the eight principles of attachment parenting, beginning with preparation for pregnancy, birth, and parenting. So far no one has bitten (on the blog at least, we're having a great discussion at Maya's Mom)...but I do hope you'll drop on my and share your thoughts.

Attachment Parenting International (API), a non-profit organization that promotes parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents, has several exciting changes they would like to announce, including:
A newly redesigned web site and new logo at Attachment Parenting.org;

Attachment parenting worldwide support forums;

Parent Education Program - a comprehensive series of classes for every stage and age of child development from infancy through adulthood;

A new book based on API's Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting by API co-founders Lysa Parker and Barbara Nicholson which is expected to be available this summer;

A series of podcasts, webinars, chats, and forums with API Advisory Board members and other supporters of AP. Future events are scheduled with Dr. Bob Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Kathleen Kendall Tacket. Check out the events page for more information.
These are just a few of many exciting things going on at API. I hope you'll stop by and check it out for yourself.

** I was getting wordy, so I'll add this down here. Common Misconceptions I've Encountered About Attachment Parenting:

MYTH: If you don't do everything an expert says, you aren't following attachment parenting.

REALITY: AP is a philosophy of parenting, not a plan that must be followed step by step. There are many practices that are common among AP parents, and fit the AP philosophy better than other practices, but there is no litmus test. A lot of parents seem tired of so-called experts telling them what to do. And they think AP is just another example. The truth is that there is no "leader" of AP. It is a heterogeneous movement, not an orthodox one. While Dr. Sears's books can seem a bit overwhelming, I'll admit, if you are exhausted, even he is clear that each family must find its own balance.

MYTH: AP will make your child needy, entitled, and overdependent.

REALITY: Research suggests otherwise. By forming a strong bond of trust, your child will feel freer to explore. Your child is more likely to follow your lead, in terms of behavior. The idea is that a lot of "acting out" is done because a child's basic needs aren't being met--once the child trusts those needs will be met, he or she is less likely to "misbehave." This one gets my goat, a bit, because I find it insulting when, during a theoretical debate, someone counters that "all the AP children they know are brats." Anecdotes don't really hold up as solid arguments, the parents and children aren't there to defend themselves, and who knows what they are really doing as parents? Attachment Parenting isn't giving your child everything he or she wants...it is taking the journey together.

MYTH: If you start a pattern of attachment now, you'll have to continue (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, etc.) forever.

REALITY: The pattern you are creating is one of trust. It is the expectation that you will help your child fulfill his or her needs. Obviously the form this takes will change over time...initially your child is all need and parental involvement is necessary to fulfill those needs. Gradually, with your help, your child will distinguish between needs and wants. Eventually, the child will be able to meet many of his or her own needs (with age-appropriate assistance) and learn to wait or do without certain wants. For most of human existence, people parented this way and still produced healthy, functioning adults. I promise, you will not have a breastfeeding, co-sleeping 20 year old, who needs to worn in a sling.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Attachment Parenting: Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

On a mom support/discussion site I started a group for talking about attachment parenting. I'm no expert on the topic, but I love chatting about it with other moms. A mom-to-be asked us what AP is all about, and lots of the group posters responded. This got me thinking--it would be fun to have a big discussion about each of the eight principles of AP as laid out by the API.

Then I thought it would be fun if I could get some additional people involved in the discussion by posting on my blog.

If you would like to share an understanding of the Attachment Parenting principle, please either comment or leave your link in the comments. Next week, I'll move onto the next principle and also link back to anyone who posted on their own blogs. If you have a blog, could you also link to this post (or the post with the principle you are writing about) so others will join in.

It will be like a carnival of attachment parenting, I guess, but with less structure.

The last talk about what is attachment parenting got me thinking--since the philosophy is very much open to interpretation, maybe it would be interesting and enlightening for us to look at a principle (from the API) each week or so and say what it means to us and how we do that...

This week I'm talking about:

***1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting***

The rest of the principles are:

2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Engage in Nighttime Parenting
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

Here are my thoughts:

For me this means taking the time to educate yourself on your options and weighing the risks and benefits of your choices. It means considering the fact that your body is in a symbiotic relationship with another human being and trying to foster that relationship.

The way I personally, specifically take action on this one:

I watch what I eat during pregnancy...though I actually eat a fairly good pregnancy diet the rest of the time, anyway.
I should exercise--but chasing a toddler counts, right?
I try to listen to my body...though that was easier before I gave birth to my little Hurricane...
Last birth I listened to hypnobirthing tapes. This birth, I am torn. I would like to have a better and more natural experience, but I also have the concern that we could have a repeat of the heart condition, which might necessitate medical intervention. I've been talking with DH about what role I would like to see him play (actually, it comes out more like, "Guard the door and keep people the hell away from me unless I ask for them.") I feel lacking in this department, but also unsure of where to look next.
I feel fairly well prepared for parenting. I anticipate the major decisions and discuss them with my husband. We're on the same page and he backs me up on the decisions I make as the primary caretaker and I don't give him too much grief about minor changes in routine that he does when he watches her (like dumping syrup on pancakes for breakfast when I usually give her oatmeal and fresh fruit--it's only once or twice a week). I kinda figure they don't come much more high maintenance than my little diva and I've read and researched and I'm pretty happy with the way things are going so far. The next one simply HAS to be more mellow...right?

Please feel free to jump in, however you like!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Toddler Empathy

We had a fabulous day today.

First we went to a "Soccer Tots" demo. We've been joking all week about what a 1-3 year old soccer clinic looks like. We imaged half the kids sitting on the floor, a quarter of the kids crying, and a quarter accidentally kicking each other.

Despite my high expectations for humor value and low expectations for organization, the class was actually quite fun for the kids involved.

Baby LOVES kicking the ball around so I was hoping it would be a big hit. She's been getting better and better at being around new people and today she participated like a champ. A little boy her age wanted to share with her which is just about the cutest thing, but Baby isn't quite at that stage yet. I was very proud, though, that she managed to throw the ball as well as kick it in the right direction. Here's another picture...faces blurred to protect the cute little people who aren't related to me.

After her nap, we ventured out again to check out our local libraries. We have a choice of two and as a Libra I am incapable of reaching a quick decision.

At the library was the calmest, sweetest dog and Baby actually got close enough to touch the dog (though she stopped short of an actual petting)! This is huge for us. Usually she doesn't even want to be in the same room as a dog, although she is fascinated by plush dogs and dogs in books. All the way home she kept telling me, "Mama, Woof Woof!"

Just for fun, here's another pic of my cutie:

Finally, at bedtime tonight, my daughter gave me a glimpse of the caring young woman I hope she will become. We were reading Babar, one of her new favorites, and when we got to the part where Babar cries because he misses his mother (who was shot by the hunter), tears started streaming down my little girl's face. She pointed to me and said, "Mama!" I hugged her and told her that I was fine and mumbled something about trying my best to avoid getting shot by a hunter.

Then I reminded her that the story had a happy ending and asked her if I should keep reading. I made sure to keep my tone upbeat through the rest of the story as we followed Babar's homecoming, wedding, and coronation. Her smile grew as we continued the reading and then she burst out in applause as Babar and Celeste rode away in their beautiful balloon.

The End.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Pregnancy Week 7: Parents Don't Get Sick Days

Following our fun announcement to the grandparents and a lovely Christmas, I came down a nasty, nasty cold that developed into a sinus infection.

During this sickness I learned a few things:

1. Parents of small children don't get sick days.

I already knew this, but being sick, with a toddler, and pregnant really drove this home. Fortunately, we were staying at my in-laws and my mother in law is a teach who was still on vacation. Because there was a period of about 24 hours during which I could not function.

2. You should always have a family doctor.

We were still in the process of a move and so I had neither ObGyn nor family practitioner. You try getting a walk-in appointment on New Year's Eve Day, an hour and a half from where you are staying, when you don't even have a primary care physician.

3. I cannot rely on my memory from the last pregnancy.

I took Advil, which turns out to be a no-no. Fortunately, it looks like it is mainly an issue in the third trimester. Still, it is not recommended for pregnant women unless they are advised to use it by a doctor. I would not have made this mistake last time around. Last time around I would have checked, Dr. Sears, the Internet, and the nurse's line. Of course, it didn't help that I still hadn't found an ObGyn at that point.

4. I should NEVER put my rings in my jeans' pocket.

Especially when I'm running a fever. Apparently I placed my wedding band and my engagement ring in my pocket while sick and then rolled up the jeans. My husband brought me my jeans and unfolded them as he handed them to me and I saw my band fall to the ground.

Thus commenced the 12 hour search for the engagement ring. The engagement ring my one true love gave to me. The engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother. Yeah. Uh-huh.

My husband was pretty sure that the ring MUST be in the house because I had rolled my jeans up in order to protect the rings--which would indicate that I took the rings off right before undressing to go rest.

I was worried that in my fever-addled state, I had been uncomfortable with the rings on and placed them in my pocket at the doctor's office. The pocket out of which I was fishing tissues all day. Tissues which were periodically emptied into various garbage cans, including those at the doctor's office.

Fortunately we located the ring on a towel in the room where we were staying, but not before my superhero husband fished through his family's garbage cans. Yeah, he deserves some sort of medal for that.

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I'm in Week Fifteen right now, playing catch-up with my online friends. Check out:

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

JLo's Baby Registry

I saw this post about JLo's registry on Dlisted (warning, some language on the site isn't family friendly).

Sometimes I wonder if I had millions, even billions, if I would buy ridiculously overpriced stuff. I really think that there are somethings it would be nice to have and few things I'd like to upgrade, but overall, I just can't see myself just spending for the sake of spending.

Anyway, some of the items seem a bit silly but others don't seem that out of line with what I hear NYC mamas spending. Cribs and gliders are a bit more complicated pieces of furniture than a changing table. True, both my crib and my glider were under $150, but I can imagine a nice piece of furniture running over $1000.